I just can’t resist writing these etiquette posts. It always gets me laughing and Gabriella is giving me inspiration on a daily basis. So here we go!
- When parent says, “time to change your diaper” run for the hills! I mean make a mad dash clear across the house and leave a mess of toys in your path to trip the person trying to catch you.
- Bad news: someone will catch you. Good news: you can jolt your body, arch your back, and squeal to get back at that someone.
- When you are lowered onto the changing table, thrash yourself around until the diaper-changer person starts making funny faces. Act like the distraction is working (calm down, smile), then go on thrashing.
- If a pee-pee diaper, try not to be as crazy. That way, you get mama and dada’s guard down, so when it’s a poopie-doosie, you can “mess” them up with a wiggle-shake-turvy-turny move that lands you on your stomach.
- If given a toy as a distraction, toss on the ground and give it the “goodbye” wave.
- Pinch. Always pinch. If you’re lucky enough to get a bare arm, pinch even harder. If dada is wearing a long-sleeve hoodie, grab the drawstring and hold him hostage until he has to call for back up.
- Slap, too.
- Diaper cream? Treat it like a poopie-doosie (see # 4).
- Do crazy leg lifts to make diaper loose and crooked (also good for the abs and hammies).
- When getting a lift off the changing pad, refuse to “high-five” dada or laugh at mama’s silliness, unless mama’s really silly and dada’s not so weird for once.
*No photographs are taken during diaper changes due to harsh conditions.
Please feel free to make any additions by commenting below. I’m certain you have a thing or two to share on the topic!