Cottonelle Care Routine #NameIt


Any moms have Cottonelle Flushable Fresh Wipes stories?  One of my hubby’s brothers loves Cottonelle Fresh Wipes so much that he’s got a package in his trunk, another in his briefcase, and a third in his desk.  It’s a toilet routine for him.  Sounded strange to me, until my hubby and my dad admitted to their own secret stash.  Is this some big secret our guys don’t want to share with us?  I mean, I’ve seen my hubby steal some of G’s baby wipes when he’s got no more Fresh Wipes of his own.  His excuse: “Listen, toilet paper sometimes isn’t enough.  What, baby gets them but I don’t?”   Typical.
As G would say, “Ewwww.”  I guess dads want fresh bums, too.  Maybe dads are onto something.  Cottonelle wants people to start a new toilet trend.  To persuade us, Cottonelle wants dads, moms, and everyone in between to come up with a new slogan for a new, paper-and-wipe toilet routine.  My dad seems to think it’s a European thing.  To him it’s the next best thing to a bidet.  
I came up with “Freshen it right.”  Maybe I wasn’t thinking of Cottonelle when I brainstormed catchphrases for the “Name It” competition (see here for details).  Maybe I still have our rental nightmare in mind.  I mean, The landlord’s “professional cleaning” was more like a sight-unseen, “see-no-evil” seal of approval: he didn’t see a speck, so it must be clean.  Never mind the 30-year old layer of dust on the pantry floor, or better yet the antifreeze or oil or whatever the BMW-mechanic-of-a-tenant spilled before he left the place in shambles for us. 
To say “freshen it right” might make sense for a Cottonelle promotion, but when it comes to this place, that’s too innocent a slogan.  Maybe it should be, “Bleach-bomb this B*#&*$ already.”  When I first moved in here—in fact, whenever we’ve moved to a “new” rental—it’s more like I’m trapped in some sort of novel or movie about an epidemic.  You know, with hazmat suits and containment rooms: “Outbreak” or “12 Monkeys.”  I’d rather be in a Downton Abbey episode.  Everything is cleaned, even when it’s already clean, and everyone cleans.
So what did we do in this new place to “freshen it right”?  More than the paper-wipe routine. 
  • Shampooed the basement carpet to get rid of the antifreeze stains and tire stains from the 20-something BMW playboy. 
  • Touched up walls originally painted with both eyes closed, apparently.
  • Used lemon shine to clear the dishwasher of all the mineral-and-rusty goodness that comes with Putnam and Westchester Co. water
  • Pulled up the yards and yards of coaxial cable stapled to make the condo a child hazard
  • De-crudded the sliding door tracks
  • Scrubbed candle burn stains in the glorious paint job
  • Reattached loose baseboards
  • Cleaned decade-old mold from the A/Cs
  • Used our IQAir filter to let the grandparents sleep in the basement mildew-free
  • Pressured the landlord to replace the leaky kitchen faucet and fix the tub faucet by hiring a plumber, not a dime-a-dozen hack-y-man,
  • Installed a replacement front door screen to freshen the air.  Fresh air is as good as a fresh derriere, I’d say. 
Finishing touches?  I lined some potted herbs on the deck rail and put our potted lavender on the front step.  So now, with the new screen on one side and a like-new sliding door on the other, we catch a scent of lavender, or a scent of basil.  The wind decides which.  
About the Cottonelle brand:

The Cottonelle brand provides innovative comfort solutions for perineal personal care. Cottonelle toilet paper is available in three forms: Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care, Cottonelle Gentle Care, and Cottonelle Clean Care. To help people feel cleaner and fresher than with toilet paper alone, the brand offers Cottonelle Fresh Care Flushable Wipes and Cottonelle Gentle Care Flushable Wipes enriched with Aloe & E. For the latest product information, visit Cottonelle.com

You can connect with Cottonelle on Twitter and Facebook
I was compensated for this post. The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own. 
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About Candice

Candice is a mom of three under 5. Originally from the smallest state of Rhode Island, now living in Connecticut. From working gal to stay-at-home mom, she is walking the path of the Modern Mom.

Comments

  1. Those look great!! Looks like you can use them for so many things!! Thanks for sharing. And LOVE your blue nails ~ very pretty!!!

  2. I agree with your husband… Definitely toilet paper isn’t enough. Cottonelle is one of our favorites. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Love the multiple uses of fresh wipes.

  4. I love wipes! I use them for everything 🙂

  5. I've used their toilet paper, but never their wipes before. Looks like I'm going to have to give them a chance! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  6. We love their wipes!! Thanks for the info!

  7. I have never used these fresh wipes, but I agree that sometimes TP isn't enough lol. I need to pick these up next time I'm in Walmart.

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