The New Modern Daddy: Maternity Leave

Hi all. It’s T.J.

Rather than introduce more about me, I’ll just jump into today’s events, then get to the serious part of the post.

Candice is at BlogHer, which means that I worked, came home to G running circles around my in-laws, made dinner (I mean, ordered pizza), gave G a bath (or let my mother-in-law give G a bath), did laundry (in-laws folded), read G a story (let G read the story while I sat and dozed), sang her a song and put her to sleep in her crib, drank a beer (I did some things), and listened to my in-laws tease each other while I tried to watch Ides of March. All this also means that I’m about a day late writing this “guest post.” My post, then, will compete with Candice’s “The Nail Files,” and I’m told that’s not cool. I sent Candice some cupcakes, so I’m hoping that balances everything out.

Despite what some might perceive as my procrastinating laziness (but what is actually intense thinking and spoon bending practice), I think it’s about time for me to stop lounging around, trying to be funny, and time to shift to something important. That is, before I wake my in-laws to take out the trash, prep the coffee-maker, and run the dishwasher, I should write about what I planned to write about: maternity leave.

After reading this article, and after hearing for months about how other advanced countries (Germany, Sweden, etc.) offer their citizens (both moms and dads) much more time to nurture their babies, I wondered how so many American moms and their children are meant to prosper if they are only allowed weeks to be together, before mama has to go back to work to make ends meet, to save for a rainy day, or to get benefits.

I’m angry that it is acceptable and tolerated in this country to force new moms to go to work only weeks (sometimes days) after becoming new moms. We know too much to think that the typical maternity-leave options are OK–we know too much about human biology, too much about human psychology, and too much about compassion and happiness.  

What do you think about maternity leave in this country, or in your state? Feel free to post your stories.

(Maybe if you leave enough posts, I’ll get another chance to write something here!  You know, to show that I’m not THAT lazy).

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About Candice

Candice is a mom of three under 5. Originally from the smallest state of Rhode Island, now living in Connecticut. From working gal to stay-at-home mom, she is walking the path of the Modern Mom.


  1. 6 to 8 weeks is not enough. That is what is given in RI. Some companies allow 6-12 months but it is without pay. That is not enough time! If you have a baby at 6-8 weeks that is still up every 3 hours for a feeding how efficient will you be at the job or when you return home to baby? I wish there was a better solution.
    Love your honesty about your duties with G 🙂 Cupcakes should work too.

  2. A- thank you for the cupcakes. That was so sweet of you! I will tell you that I wish our system was more like Canada for maternity and paternity. It is hard for a mom to go back to work after 6 weeks. Being up all night and going back to work=does not mix well. I totally agree with you!

  3. Shoot! My comment disappeared!!! Hmm. I'll have to try to be as witty ha ha

    I remember talking to moms on twitter that lived in Canada and Europe during my mid night nursins sessions. I was pretty jealous of the time they got to take off work and most got some sort of compensation. But what I really feel bad for are the dads and their lack of time. Jon took about 2 weeks off and then when he went back he'd see Aubrey for a little in the morning and a little at night. Talk about lack of bonding time!! CA does have family bonding time where you can receive some compensation but sadly work was just too crazy for him to be gone. Makes me sad.

    Ps we kept trying t get Candice to bring sme cupcakes to our room the last night (in exchange for sme vino!!) but sadly she declined. But you were such a sweetie to send those to her!!!

    – another Melissa

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