I Broke Up With My OB at 39 Weeks

I Broke Up With My OB at 39 Weeks

Well, I went to bed last night with a huge weight off my chest. We made the decision and T.J. and I finally had a good nights sleep. The first for me in a long time since all of this stress started with my doctor.

I awoke feeling refreshed and anxiously awaited 8:30am to call my OB’s office to cancel my sonogram, weekly appointment and c-section which was scheduled for Wednesday. After doing so, I called a doctor, who comes highly recommended and is local to me now, and they were able to fit me in on Wednesday.

No sooner I get off the phone with this new-to-me doctors office, my former OB is calling me directly. I answer. She sounds frantic. Typically she is the type of person who talks over you but she was doing it even more so today. She obviously wanted to know why I was leaving her at 39 weeks.

I thought to myself, “now you are concerned?”

Some highlights of our conversation:

I had told this woman several months back that I was moving. Today she heard me say it again and it finally clicked as if I never told her.

She insisted that I don’t tell anyone that she pushes elected c-sections.

She asked me to do her a favor when requesting my medical records. Could I write a note saying that I was only leaving because I relocated and not because I didn’t want a c-section.

She continued to push for me to keep my scheduled surgery on Wednesday.

She said I could come in and she would personally give me an ultrasound to see what position the baby was in.

She told me that I would have to sign a waver if I went against her advice for the c-section and continued with my pregnancy and tried to labor naturally.

She mentioned an induction.

She spoke over me the whole time and then tried to talk her way out of why she laughed out loud at my suggestions for trying acupuncture or a chiropractor. She even went so far as to say she was into alternative medicine!

She said she thought we had a good relationship. Maybe because she thought she was the boss and I’m a pushover?! Not me!

She asked why I didn’t stay longer last week and talk about how I was feeling. I could not get the hell out of there fast enough. That’s why.

Nothing she said during this conversation changed my mind about the decision T.J. and I had made. It reconfirmed for me that she and I are not on the same page and this relationship was over.

Did I mention that during my visit last week and her attempts to schedule my c-section surgery she also asked me if I wanted my tubes tied?! Ya know, because she would already be in there and all. WTF!? I’m 34 and I’m not ready to make a decision about ending my fertility!

It sickens me that there are doctors out there like this. Scaring patients into tests and surgeries that are not necessary. No wonder home births and midwives are in high demand.

When I was pregnant with G I had three sonograms. One to confirm my pregnancy, another for the anatomy scan and a final one to see if my placenta privia had resolved.

Having an ultrasound every visit to see where the baby is was just crazy to me. Don’t babies move?! If they don’t then you worry right?!

The practice I am going to on Wednesday already has my mind and body at ease. Two female doctors who have the patients best interest in mind and actually listen to what is on your mind.

The doctor I am seeing Wednesday called me today after reviewing my records. She asked me a few questions like was this my first pregnancy, did I have a vaginal delivery with my first, we’re there any complications with this pregnancy since there were none that she could see on paper. She cannot understand why my former OB would want to have me elect a c-section at 39 weeks when there are no complications and baby is head down but not engaged.

Yep! My thoughts exactly.

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About Candice

Candice is a mom of three under 5. Originally from the smallest state of Rhode Island, now living in Connecticut. From working gal to stay-at-home mom, she is walking the path of the Modern Mom.

Comments

  1. Wow. I suppose you didn’t expect anything different from the prev OB. But I’m so glad to hear you already feel at peace with this new practice!!!

  2. Wow, good for you mama! I am so happy to hear this! You are such a good advocate for you and your baby. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Good for you, being an advocate for yourself and your baby! That sounds awful. Unfortunately, there are so many women who probably just trust what their doctor says and don’t question their actions. I’m so glad you like your new doctor!!!

  4. Good for you! I was loved my OB but he is so hard to get into that I can’t really use him for Gyno services.

  5. SO glad to hear that you are going to a new doctor who sounds like she is on the same page!!

    That conversation seriously sounds terrifying. I cannot imagine dealing with a doctor like that!!

  6. Asking abt having tubes tied while they’re in there is apparently very common. My OB did right before my 2nd c-section and told me he was glad I said no, and agreed that while we are 99% sure we are done that I was too young for the procedure. I’m 31. I have 2 friends who had 2nd babies by c-section and were asked about tubals, along with 1 friend on her 4th vaginal delivery.

  7. Wow! That is awesome! My son did not “engage” until I was in labor, and the ob said with all of his 11 children, none of them were engaged until his wife was already in labor, so he never gave it a thought when I was worried about it and asking him about it. So glad you stood up for yourself and your baby! God bless!

  8. Geez I’m glad you left! Why was she so insistent on the c section?? I would have been *so* offended if my ob randomly offered to tie my tubes. Blechk!!

    Good for you!!

    Jamie

  9. I was just going to say the same thing as another poster about doctors asking about getting your tubes tied during c-sections ๐Ÿ™‚ They asked me when I had my second, I was just barely 30. It didn’t bother me, all my friends have been asked the same thing after their second births. I think it’s partially to keep the birth rate down. I’m glad that you found a doctor that you seem to like more!

  10. Whoa, good for you! All of those things that dr. said just scared the bejeezus out of me! Us mommas, don’t mess around when it comes to our kids or their health, don’t the professionals know that. A mother’s intuition is always right and you just proved it. So happy you found a new doctor. Can’t wait to hear about your new little miracle coming soon! PS My doc asked me the same thing about getting my tubes tied a few months ago when I had Cooper. I was 30 at the time. These people are CRAZY!

  11. Don’t worry, I had an OB like that too. My new one is GREAT though!

    Last doctor induced me at 36 weeks because I was a little low on fluid and “there’s no reason for you to come in every week” when he could just come out now. Really? When we tried to argue with her on in, she just avoided eye contact, handed us the paper with the time for everything, then left the room. Never felt so horrible at letting someone walk all over me like that.

    She basically treated me the exact same with #4 and I just couldn’t take it any longer. She could barely remember my name after YEARS and her nurse was the main reason I stayed–and I still miss her, she is amazing. They always did an ultrasound every time we went in, so every month, two weeks, week, or more even if nothing was wrong.

    New OB checks heart rate and as questions, no cervical check every-single-freaking-time like the last one either. HUGE bonus.

  12. Good for you! I can’t believe how unprofessional she was! Wishing you lots of luck with this new Dr. ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. I cannot believe that conversation with your old OB. that is ridiculous!!!!! I’m SOOOO glad you found a place that makes you comfortable and I’m so glad you stood up for yourself. And I think they just offer the tubal because some people don’t think about the fact that they can do it while they are already in there. Pretty standard question from what I understand from most friends over the past 10-20 years even.

  14. Seriously? GOOD FOR YOU for being your own advocate! How dare she push you into an unwarranted c-section! I get the whole paper work thing as essentially you’re not taking her medical advice technically, but definitely don’t lie like she’s asking you to. Clearly she’s in hot water from this with other patients too. Best of luck with your new OB, can’t wait to hear of the baby news!

  15. As others have said, asking about a tubal “while they’re in there” is pretty common. In fact, it was my reason for getting a tubal with our last child. But the rest? No. Just no. Good for you for moving to a practice that is more in line with what you want. And that trying to convince you to not tell other people that she pushes c-sections tells me that she KNOWS she pushes. She just doesn’t want people to turn away from her practice because of it.

  16. As someone who had Csections before, I will tell you it is major surgery! Elective??? I am so glad you switched! It was the best decision you could have ever made!

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