Finding A Balance
A toddler who hardly naps. A four month old who doesn’t fall asleep easily or on her own.
Two big things that have a big impact on the day to day here.
Some days are not easy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my little ladies, and I love that I have been able to be home with both of them. But dang, I get tired too. And the past three years have been the hardest years of my life. No joke.
The packing, the moving, the house hunting, the packing and moving again while pregnant, and all the unpacking. So much more in between all that but you get the picture.
I desperately need to find a balance. So many transitions in so little time has me off kilter. I need some me time. Some time to reflect on all these changes. It’s been… a lot.
Some days I just feel so defeated.
Thank goodness we have found our place to call home. Thank. Goodness. Now, we can finally establish ourselves in a community and not feel stuck between our home (where we will always call home in Rhode Island) and home (our temporary living place). Ahhhh. A deep breath of relief.
And then, this week, G started preschool. I thought it would be super emotional, for me. My first born going off on what will be a long journey of learning until she finally graduated high school and then college. Once she starts she won’t stop until she has learned all she can learn. It’s, a big step, for all of us.
I don’t know what I am feeling about preschool at the moment other than relief? Relief that G and I are getting a six hour a week break. I think we both need it. Our relationship feels strained? different? It has evolved. The move to our new home and the birth of her sister shortly there after has changed our relationship some how. Nothing bad. Just different. I don’t often get that one on one time with her that we use to have all the time. I know that I want to get more of that one on one time with her and that is something to work on starting immediately.
And, yeah, a date night with my husband would also be a much welcomed item to add on this journey of balance. Heck, we didn’t even celebrate our anniversary yet and that was this past August. Plopping our heads on the pillows at night is about all the time we have to connect day to day and we are both so beat we fall asleep immediately.
So, just a few things to tweak here and balance might just be found.
We found our home. Now we can find our balance.
Have you ever had feeling a like this? I’d love to hear about it.