Breastfeeding Blues

Breastfeeding Blues

Val and I are into the seventh month of our breastfeeding journey. Val has been exclusively feeding from me even though we have tried many attempts at pumped milk bottle feeding.

I’m not complaining about being able to feed her, I just need to vent about how it has limited my “me” time down to zero. See, we always have to be together. I am home with both girls all week and I am super grateful that I have that opportunity. The thing is, I need time alone. Time for myself. Time to do things that I want to do. I’m in a new place. I need to branch out and meet new people.

When we first moved here I joined a local moms group, paid the dues, submitted my application and have been getting awesome email invitations to all the fun plans that I never am able to attend. Sure, the play dates are easy because I bring the girls. I want to go to the book club, the bunko, the parties, and dinners. Get. Me. Out. Of. This. House!

I know its only a matter of time before I will be able to do these types of things, but in the interim I have been feeling trapped. Trapped seems like a harsh word, maybe stuck is more like it. Oh, and its the dead of Winter. Sub-zero temps, snow, rain and all that blah weather. I mean, I would totally settle for pushing the two of them in the stroller just to smell some fresh air and clear my mind. I’m thinking Spring already!

On the weekends I will venture out to get a manicure or pedicure, the occasional alone trip to Target, but its just not cutting it for me.

I do go out with both of them during the week. Market, dry cleaning, preschool drop off and pick up. Fun times! 🙂 Still, not me really getting out.

People may think I’m being selfish, but this is how I feel and I can’t deny my feelings.

I love that Val is exclusively breastfed.

I blame myself for this scenario. When she was first born, and T.J. was home for summer break, I pumped and she drank a bottle. As soon as he want back to work a month later, things got busy, we got lazy, and bottles went to the wayside. We just didn’t keep up with it.

Now that Val is 6.5 months and we started solids {baby led weaning}, I am hoping she will take a sippy cup of pumped milk. We have been diligently trying every day and she is just starting to take little sips so I am hopeful.

Just this past week I night weaned her because she was still waking up one or two times a night to nurse and I knew she just wanted the comfort. Luckily after a couple of nights of her waking and T.J. or I going in and rocking her back to sleep she adjusted and thankfully has been sleeping through the night since. 🙂

I can’t tell you how much of a mess I have been for the past 6+ months running on little to no sleep and an exclusively breastfeeding baby. Its been difficult. We had sleeping issues with G as well and I will have another post about that too. Luckily that passed as well.

So, what do you think? Have you ever had these feelings as a breastfeeding mom?breastfeeding

 

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About Candice

Candice is a mom of three under 5. Originally from the smallest state of Rhode Island, now living in Connecticut. From working gal to stay-at-home mom, she is walking the path of the Modern Mom.

Comments

  1. YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.
    I’m sitting here typing this and holding a pump to a boob with my other hand. I could double pump, but then I’d be completely immobile. Our four-week-old, Kamden, has been breastfeeding beautifully but he wants more at each feeding and falls asleep so easily. Plus, I don’t think my breasts have been emptied and it’s all jacking up my supply. Add stress and no sleep to the mix and I’m a hot mess! He takes the bottle — thank God — and this tired mama needs a break occasionally. I keep reminding myself: the days/nights are long, but the years are short. THIS TOO WILL PASS. Hang in there! Besides, you inspire ME to keep going!!!!
    Nicole @ Three 31 recently posted…Finish This… Week #2My Profile

  2. Yes, yes, and yes! My darlings didn’t have a choice once I went to work but to take a bottle for those times, but for every-other feeding I refused to let them be bottle fed and wanted to only nurse them. My own fault, but the guilty working mom feeling got to me. This will all be past soon and you’ll wish you could go back in time to do it again.
    Carrie recently posted…Top 5 Saturday Laughs: 1-11-2014My Profile

  3. You are so not alone! I pumped for 7 months with Zane and it was the hardest time for me. It was so trying! I think you should go out and try out book club, to give yourself a nice reprieve! You deserve it!
    mel recently posted…It’s a New Year! Dunkin’ Donuts January Mug Up Contest! #DunkinMugUpMy Profile

  4. You are not selfish nor alone. I hope you get out soon! <3
    Chelley @ A is for Adelaide recently posted…Stick to me!My Profile

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